Some SEO Advice and Sales SPAM Fun For Newbie Website Owners

So you need to know more about SEO advice for your website?  Don't we all.  Google has been keeping everyone dancing on what's needed to have any kind of rank on the web, and my suspicions are they're squeezing out the little guys.  But if you're bold enough to want to try, more power to you!

Once you've decided you would like to run a blog of some sort, and it's not for just you and a few people, you probably will start wondering why you only get a few visits at best.  You'll find out that internet or web SEO (Search Engine Optimization) is the first basic step towards snagging website traffic for the edification of your creative mind! (Code for blog posts.)

If you have someone in your life you can tap for a resource in this field of SEO, you're one step ahead of the crowd.  I've had a wonderful mentor of sorts by the name of Vic, and I have appreciated every bit of insight he's provided me.  (I've probably have outstayed my welcome, so I don't pester him too much any more these days.)

SEO is a tricky thing but there are a few things you can do to help yourself in this category if you don't have a knowledgeable peer in your pocket.

Do your research.  Find popular websites and look them over.  Google even has great insights to creating content that could get you more website traffic.  (This is a great insight to getting SEO help, from Google itself)

But one thing I'd suggest is to rely heavily on your own research first, before falling for any traps that want money [Review of GoDaddy's Search Engine Visibility Tool] from you.


As you start to develop your skills a bit, you'll start figuring out what to weed out of the noise out there.  Don't jump on the first thing or two that sounds good or great.  Remember, sales pitches are designed to make sales.  I laugh now at what I used to jump at when I tried my hand at real estate.  Wow...  and I fell for the pitches because I desperately wanted to succeed.  Now.  (And therein lies the issue...  wanting it now rather than working at it.)

If you find something great looking, back out, and research that product or company and see what folks are saying.

There is one resource that's pretty cool, and that's SCRIBE, but that's a product for a self-hosted wordpress blog and it depends on how much money you might already be making off your site, since it's not a cheap service.  (But it is a good service).  What SCRIBE does is guide you along the lines of what is good or better for specific posts. (If it looks tempting, you have a 30-day free trial I believe, or find a site that reviewed it and sometimes, they might provide discount codes for using their affiliate sales link.)

The one thing you want to do is play above board with Google.  If you try tricky stunts, Google will find you, smack you, and your site will get dinged for it.

For example... at one point I had a linking practice that was netting me good traffic, but I wanted to hide the links so my fans (those are the competitors of mine that constantly steal my ideas for their own posts or practices) wouldn't see what I was doing.  BUT Google doesn't like it when you hide links in your text.  Even though I fixed it, that hurt for about 6 months as my traffic source recovered much more slowly than it had dipped.

So with time and a smart approach, I think you'll get the hang of things.

OH, BTW, if you have started monetizing your site, you might notice the amount of income is directly proportional to traffic flow.  But if you're sharp, and focus your content to who you want and then get an Amazon associates account, you can actually make decent bucks from targeted writing/content.


But as you get going and your site starts getting noticed, it's going to get noticed by the scum ad and service sellers that will reach out to you to tease you about what golden opportunities there are for your site out there and how much they can help you.

Hold yer britches.  Let's look at the latest sales pitch I've received.

My policy is this:  I do my research.  Then I contact who I have deemed worthy enough for me to consider trusting.  Unsolicited ads usually aren't worth much since they have the time to hunt little 'ol you down, and aren't working with those #1 Google found sites!  Example:  Does Coke or Budweiser email you to try their stuff?

Have fun... my running commentary is in {} brackets and this was in relation to the parent site of this site.

- Team, {OK, so they got my email address but didn't bother actually reading the content around it or they would know my name.  BOT!!!}

I thought you might like to know some of the reasons why you are not getting enough Social Media and Organic search engine traffic for  {Because I'm not Fandango, CNN, ESPN... I'm a tiny site that won't get that big.}

1.Your website is not ranking top in Google organic search for many competitive keyword phrases.
{Duh... and a new site will never be able to compete for the most popular search terms because the top 5,000 blogs are already trouncing me on those terms.  (You have to generate some good, unique content... that DOES work.)}

2. Your website profile is not available in most of the Social Media Websites.
{I assume they means besides Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, Technorati, Alexa, YouTube and the other half dozen sites Brusimm does participate in.  Web BOT!!!  Incredibly STUPID web bot at that.}

3. Your site has 8 Google back links, this can be improved further.
{I guess they missed the other several hundred.  SPAMMER BOT!!!}

There are many additional improvements that could be made to your website, and if you would like to learn about them, and are curious to know what our working together would involve, then I would be glad to provide you with a detailed analysis in the form of a WEBSITE AUDIT REPORT for FREE. 
{OK... then just send it already.  Oh, wait, BOT!}

Our clients consistently tell us that their customers find them because they are at the top of the Google search rankings. Being at the top acleft of Google (#1- #3 organic positions) is the best thing you can do for your company's website traffic and online reputation. 
{I don't know what an acleft is.  But I seriously doubt this ragtag pitch source did that.  Or we'd all have heard about it via other channels.}

I found your site in the Google search and after having a look over your website I think you should go for an SEO campaign to boost your marketing strategy. 
{OK, wait!  I don't rank in Google, but you found me in Google?  Got it... bot.}

Sounds interesting? Feel free to email us or alternatively you can provide me with your phone number and the best time to call you. 
{Sure!  Try 123-456-7890, midnight, your timezone bitch!}


Best Regards,
Diana {some made up last name}
SEO Consultant  {Technically, that's probably correct.  She just did consult.}
dumbass phone # I'll never call.


PS1: This is onetime email and you may ask us to "REMOVE" you from our mailing list.  {That I have received for the umpteenth time already}

PS2: I found your site from online advertising but did not click. {I don't advertise online... nice try.}

PS3: We operate 24 x7. I will be happy to send you links to price list,refund policy, client rankings, client testimonials, "How we are different from others?", and "Why should you choose us?" on receiving a response from you  {Hold. Your. Breath.}


Update:4/4/13:  I got my third "onetime" email from Diana...  cool!!!

Bruce again...  so that's my fun with their noise and I get these wonderful emails all the time now.  If you actually read to this part of the article, here's some bonus bits.  Below are two resource links to get you thinking along the lines of how to look at this thing called SEO and trying to eek out a small corner of the web for yourself.  Have fun and link up with me sometime!


Update: 4/18/13:  Diana has become Mark Peterson (I guess in case am gender biased) and they're no longer threatening me with the "one time deal" option.  They must have read this piece because they've cleaned up their act on the wording...  it no longer says I don't rank in Google, and then late say, they found me on Google.  The stupid spammers are getting smarter!

Google's Webmaster Guidelines,
Google on Getting SEO Help Suggestions,